I've been really sick lately and it seems to start over every time I get better. I think I found the reason today; some bacteria have caused me an infection in intestines so I'm sick constantly. Well... You should be careful what you eat, but not scared. Bacteria are different in every country but I didn't saw this coming. Maybe I'll be wiser next time.. But this subject always cheers me up :)!
They say Argentina and Buenos Aires is gourmets paradise. Argentina is very well known for the meat; they say here you can eat the worlds best meat. I've tasted many kinds of beefs but nothing like here in Buenos Aires. It's just so good that there isn't words to describe it! If there would be one thing I could take with me to Finland, it would be Argentine meat! You don't even have to put a lot of spice there 'cause its natural taste is so good! And a top of it, it's ridiculously cheap! Other food I just love is fruits: fresh, juicy, tasty fruits. I doesn't matter what time of year you buy fruits, it's nothing, it's not even fruit compered what you can have here! Those small fruit shops in almost every corner (at least in Palermo Hollywood) where you can buy anything and again, it ridiculously cheap! And it's SO GOOD!
Mixed see food from Fish shop
Delicious sushi! Best ever!
Shellfishes from the supermarket
Huge Grill plate from really nice restaurant Las Cabras in Palermo Hollywood. I really recommend this restaurant! But it's always full, 'cause everyone else likes it too.
I made some late night snack; mixed seafood breds
Chinese
Crayfish chips, colorful ones
I love these fruits in here! The problem is that it seems to be the number one reason why I have been so sick lately: because in really warm country fruits and salads has totally different bacteria than in cold countries. When I get better, I'll continue eating those, good idea or not :D!
In Finland we don't celebrate Chinese New Year. Actually, I didn't even know when it is! Lots of people was talking about it here in Buenos Aires, so I thought it must be worth of seeing. And it was! Huge stage and screen, lots of different kinds of performances going nonstop, dozens of food stands and many things for sale. I enjoyed mostly from the food and performances.
Sushi in plastic box from the Japanese food stand.
I've never tasted Sushi "From the street" and it was delicious! Best I've ever tasted (so far).
Chinese deep-fried squid rings... It's hard to find anything better!
The best thing was that in this one you could taste the real squid really well, yum yum!
Last but not least smoothies! Real, fresh smoothies made from real, fresh fruits and berries.
I can still taste it in my mouth, it was that good!
Of course I had to get the fortune cookie with the prediction. Mine says "Open your heart. You can always close it again." I wonder how seriously I should take the prediction :D!
In Buenos Aires they celebrated the Chinese New Year whole two days. The atmosphere was incredible! Everyone was so happy and relaxed! I wish there will be the day when you can feel that in Finland too :D! I took some videos, so I could show what I experienced and saw, but it's impossible. On the top of it the videos quality turned out to be quite bad. If you think it's too bad, skip the first too and watch at least the last one and the small screen works the best.
This is the subject we learn in school at very early age. But here in Argentina.. It's totally different thing. Here we are living with it every day. So what you learn at school about this is nothing compered to living middle of it! I'm still a bit confused about this and I don't know much about it. It seems almost impossible that everything can be so messed up! In Finland we are really living so safe and stable life. Here you never know what's going to happen tomorrow! But I'm not saying it in negative way. It's extremely interesting!
When we came here, it was almost impossible to get Us Dollars from the country. If I wanted to change my money in USD, I had to pay extra 40%, so it was insane! Government tried to "change the way peoples mind works", and the main goal was (how I got it) that people wouldn't collect dollars anymore, and that Peso would become more stable. It didn't work. But now, this week everything changed again! People used to save dollars and buy everything bigger with dollars, like cars, houses and holidays. Everyone want's to have payment for renting apartment as USD. It's a bit hard 'cause there's no way we could get it in a way that isn't ridiculously expensive. But I get it. Of course they want the payment USD 'cause it doesn't change weekly or even daily like Peso does. It's the safe way to have and save money.
Put now, little over an week ago, government again changed everything. Completely out of the blue they decided that people can buy USD normally. WHAAT!? I mean in Finland this wouldn't be possible! Everything takes so much time, to decide something or put into practice. And here, they just did it! Put what does that mean. I'm not even sure :D! It seems so messy to me! But one Finnish boy said "now I know what it feels like having a bunch of money that looses it's value". So he had all his money as USD and when government released the "markets" his dollars wasn't that valuable anymore. And what about Peso? Is it really gonna be more stable because of this decision? The funny thing is that the government is telling to the rest of the world that the inflation level is much much less than the reality.
For me this is so exiting and interesting! But I can only imagine how it feels for those who lives here! When the news came out last weekend, some shops were closed, because they didn't know anymore how much should they ask for the items they are selling. They didn't know how valuable those were anymore. And everything happened for the one night! What's going to happen? No one knows.
When I left from Finland the weather was dark, raining and maeby just -2 Celcius. Now I know that in Finland theres -25 degrees (horrible cold). But still I'm used to maximum +28 degrees, 'cause there's never warmer than that in Finland. So can you believe what happens when you put Finnish people in +30 to + 45 degrees :D!? It's so so so hot! I have burned my skin 4 times during two weeks, unbelievable! I wen to gym during hotel stay and got dehydration! I'm so happy we have the pool and air conditioner 'cause otherwise we would be in big troubles! It's a weird thing how fast human body can get used to the hot weather. First two weeks we were suffering and sweating quite hardly all the time. Now, when the weather is warm (about +28 to +33 C) it feels quite normal. One day it was raining and there was only +20C, we were actually a bit cold! So the body can get used to different circumstances. It's hard to believe that back home there's snow!
It was quite exciting to try to find an accommodation for us. I had heard stories about people who had booked a flat and paid for it but there wasn't apartment or anyone when they got there. I didn't know who I can trust and what's the best place to find one. I found two girl more who searched place to stay and I contacted them. It was quite hard to find place to stay because everyone had different wishes. I contacted about 20 persons and I found one very good one. I booked the flat for us but after I did it the price went 500€ up. It was a bit shocking. I canceled the booking and we were at the starting point again. Four days before flights I got apartment for us, but still there were first two nights without roof above our heads. I tried to find some kind of hostel or hotel. Two days before leaving I found very cheap hotel, some kind of special offer. The hotel costed 75€ for two person for two nights. So it was really cheap! I paid it right away through onehotels.com. The thing was that I really wasn't sure if there still is the hotel or the apartment. So I was a bit stressed out about it.
Here is some pictures from our hotel (BE hotel in San Telmo, Buenos Aires)
Outside pool and solarium
There was two pools in hotel, one outside and the other inside with gym. This is inside pool. The bottom of the pool is glass so you can see the reception and everything else all the way down (5 floors)
This is from 3rd flood. You can see the bottom of the inside swimming pool up high.
I've never seen before a hotel room with glass shower! It was quite funny being in the shower
'cause the other person could see you all the time through the glass :D!
Everything went so well! We got the hotel room and the apartment for 5 weeks. I have to say that the booking and paying system here in Argentina is totally different than in Finland. The inflation is one really big reason! Argentine Peso isn't stable currency, the value of Peso is changing weekly, sometimes even daily. That's why everyone wants to have payment as US Dollars. The thing is that it's really hard to get Dollars! And if you go to the bank, they take 40% for changing money to Dollars! That's really too much! We had cash (US$) for the first apartment but I have no idea how to get the next one! Here's some pictures from the apartment
View from the roof
It has been so hot so the pool is a MUST! For Finnish people it's extremely hot (over 30 C degrees)!
I hope I'll get used to it :)! But I love it!
We have to be creative for drying our laundry. The living area is our solution :D!
We have bathroom for both bedrooms
Walk in - closet
I love our patio! Everyday I lay down to hammock and relax before going to bed.
We have private elevator lobby. I have no idea why :D!
View from the roof! I'll take a photo from the other side of the building because there's a barbecue area, really nice!
I can't believe that I am able to afford this kind of apartment, this kind of living! I mean I lived in shared apartment, not glorious at all, lived for very little amount of money, and now... This!! And I'm paying everything by my self. I'm really sad that we don't see how well our things are in Finland! Free education and financial aid for studies from government. Actually I sometimes feel a little bad; do I really deserve all these opportunities and freedom. I'm so lucky girl!!!
Here I go! 5 months of sun, Latin America, different culture and environment, no work, hopefully no worries. I hope I will find many new things in me and when I go back (if I go back) I will be a whole new woman again. I hope I will find out what I'm suppose to do with next couple years, some direction in my life.
I'm so happy to leave Finland. It was so dark, raining all the time. Normally this time of year it's extremely cold but this year it hasn't, so there weren't even snow. That darkness is depressing! I don't enjoy that Finnish darkness AT ALL! And it's so relieve to leave everything behind in Finland! This is take off from everything. But that's not the reason why I wanted to go :)!
I think we will have nice adventure! And I'm ready for everything. I'm pretty sure things won't go as expected, but that's part of this! Our flight was quite hard.. So much of turbulent! First we take the plain from Helsinki to Madrid (4,5 hours), then waited 3 hours and then to Buenos Aires for 13 hour. And the wind was so hard that the plain had to change the direction for a while. I didn't sleep at all! But to my friend it was the first time in a plain, so I'm pretty sure it was quite rough to her. But I held her hand one time. I have to say that Iberia impressed me, very nice flight company indeed! Nice and clean plain, comfortable, good service (but the food was quite interesting). I recommend Iberia to everyone!
I'm so happy to tell this; I'm in Argentina! I can't wait what comes to me! Open minded and ready for adventures! I'll write post at least once a week so keep reading :)!
Couple of you have asked me to tell what have happened to me in my "previous" life.. I wrote the first text about it (or something little about it), but it's in Finnish. No I'm doing it again, this time in English and I'll tell a little more, I'll tell about the real things that happened to me... Still, I don't mean to hurt anyone, so there's quite much things I'm not able to tell. I also have to add that I don't think that it's truly meaningful what happened to me. The most important part is what it has done to me, what I have become.
So, I'm a young woman, one among the millions of people. Maybe my story is quite common; More or less hard childhood, alcohol issues in our family. The pain coming from there hit hard to my face at the beginning of the puberty. When I'm trying to go back into that time, all I can remember is the harrowing pain, dark endless road. I started to have fever when I was 14-years old. There weren't any medical reason for that, just fever that went on and on and on. Some doctor said to me that I have burn out, but no one believed it so nothing changed. I tried to be so good in everything (I thought it would make our family life easier and effect in alcoholism) but I was so tired, afraid, broken and alone. My saver after years of pain was safe, strong and stable boyfriend, who made me believe that I'm worth of love. He proposed me after three years of being together. We lived together in Tampere. He was everything to me, I was dependent, I was nothing without him. I was so afraid of losing the only thing that mattered to me. At the same time I was still so broke and I couldn't understand why.
We were together total five years. Six months before break up I moved to another city for studying. Mostly I just had to get away from my life, which hadn't never felt my own - so moving to Jyväskylä was suppose to be my new rescue, escape from the pain. So I moved.. And then I felt like flying! I didn't need anything or anyone, I was strong, needed, loved, true person. And that was the worst and the best thing ever happened to me; breaking up. First time of my life I felt truly alive! And I didn't need my addiction (ex-fiance) to tell me that I'm worth of something. HOW NAIVE! Well.. One month passed by, I was again working too much as I have always done. I got tired, I got lost, I was all alone, I panicked. I was nothing! Then I realized how horrible wrong I had done! I went back to my ex-fiance, I was so so so sorry, I begged him to forget me my mistakes. But I knew I broke him too. He just cried... There were nothing else he could do. He told me there weren't anyone else. There was one girl, but it was just one night thing. He said he needs some time, and I gave it to him. "How much time?" He didn't know.
Went one month, went another. Then he came to me and said that he wants to have me in his life, lets try it. And we did. He sat in my parents house during the Christmas holidays and no one knew there were any troubles going on in our relationship. Funny! We just didn't tell it. It was just like old times. But I knew something was wrong, I felt it. He didn't look at me at the way he used to. I asked about millions times, but he said "nothings wrong". Couple more months went by. I couldn't stand the coldness in him. He didn't answer to my calls, he didn't come to see me. And one day I had enough! I said I don't want to have him in my life anymore, it's too painful. And then he told me the truth... He told me he is going to be dad... To who? To the lady he had slept with once... Or that's what he told me. My whole world stopped right there. I have never felt that kind of feeling, I can't even describe that. Everything around me stopped, there weren't anything, only the pain in my chest. There weren't time or space, only pain. He said he don't know what to do, but the lady was 3,5 months pregnant. He needs to think things through by himself. We wen't to sleep but I just cried and shaked all night and he held me in his arms. In the morning he left, and I cried over 3 weeks in a row. This was the turning point in my relationship with my mother. I called her because there wasn't anything! I was so afraid, but I felt that I just don't have anything to loose anymore. And my mother, she was amazing! So understanding. She called me everyday to make sure that I had been eating..
Weeks went by, he didn't know what to do, he couldn't decide. But he just couldn't let me go. And I couldn't stand the idea that he would not be a father to a child. I knew I could not live with that. But he didn't listen to me, he was so lost. I almost gave up. I couldn't sleep, eat, go to school, go to work, move, read, watch television, listen to music. I just cried or stared to the ceiling. The pain was unbearable. The school I went was a bit different. We had our own company and we did every studies by working in it. I gave everything to it, but when all the drama in my life started I was powerless, I didn't have strength to do anything. Our company coach (teacher) said to me, I have to take sick leave for three weeks. We agreed about it and our company members agreed about that too. They said "take your time", "you can come back and well take you back with open arms". So I took the trip to Azores all by myself to clear my head. It was the hardest thing to do. I cried first five days during that trip. But I also found the beauty from the nature, I got stronger. During that trip my "ex" called me (hi didn't know I'm on that trip). The lady that was pregnant had miscarriage and he wanted to fix our relationship. The reaction was the same than when I heard about the pregnancy... I was in a shock.
I came back to Finland, didn't know what to think. But I was much stronger! I wanted to work again, go to school. Actually, I was a bit excited. The worst darkness was over. I had the strength to go to store, to school, to was my hair. So my ex and I, we decided to try again. And I went to school. But when I went to school, all I got was another bomb! They had decided during my sick leave that they will kick me out of the company. That was so big shock to me! I couldn't say anything. I acted like a cool, but as soon as I got out of the building I collapsed. I jumped on a train and traveled to my ex house. The only thing I could think was "What Am I Gonna Do Know?!". I asked, If I should move back to Tampere, he didn't say anything. Then I realized it... He just couldn't be with me, I couldn't go to school anymore, I didn't had anything! AGAIN! I felt so worthless piece of shit. I didn't have money, I didn't have job, I was in a strange city with nothing. All my friends had back-stabbed me, there wasn't anyone! Couple weeks went in a mist. I can't remember anything from that period. Then I got the job in a candy factory. I was so tired but at the same time I knew I don't have any options left. I forced myself to work every day. Endless darkness. Then my cousin died (he was only a little over 30 years old) because of cancer. It took one year and he was gone. Everything happened during the same year.
End of summer I watched over my ex sisters house and my ex wanted to come there with me. He had said to me that he wants to be with me but he needs time to heal his wounds. He told me every time that he doesn't have anyone else. We went to bed to sleep and I couldn't sleep. I took his phone and went outside. I read all his messages. He had lied to me and to other women almost one year. The lady that was pregnant.. They had dated almost a year. He was with my family the whole Christmas, and texted to that lady at the same time. He came to my home, hi made love with me countless times, told me how much he loves me and that he wants to be with me. And that other lady.. She didn't know anything about me. So my ex lied almost a year to both of us. I sat outside for three hours reading all the lies he had told me, all the lies he was telling to the other lady. I shaked three hours. I couldn't believe it! How could he!? When I asked about it, he lied again, straight to my face. I just hoped that he would have told the truth. After two weeks I told him that I know everything. He didn't say anything. The other lady still doesn't know anything. I have seen my ex time to time and the other lady doesn't know anything... I wanted to tell her, but I decided that it's not my thing to do, it's not my business. I don't want to hurt my ex even he broke my heart. I hope he won't ever know how badly, 'cause it would kill him. Of course I hate him, of course I can't believe everything that have happened. But I'm just trying to understand. I'm trying to think that I'm still worth of love and desirable. I'm trying so hard to think that it's not about me, it's not that I wasn't good enough.. Yes, I'm trying very hard. And still, I don't want to hurt him! End of that summer my father found Jesus and stopped drinking... Miracles happens!
This is the short version about what have happened to me during the most horrible 1,5 years in my life. I'm n ot sure what effected the most in my; my childhood, extremely low self esteem, breaking up, lying, waiting for one year, kicking out from our company, my friends turning their backs at me, my cousin cancer and dying, hopeless, money trouble. But step by step I got better. Still there is lots to do, I'm still a bit broken human being, but I'm alive! I'm going school, working, having friends, sometimes even dating, I believe in life, future, in me and in every others! There isn't darkness that is endless.. Everything in life goes with pares, like darkness and light. Every storm comes with the sunshine. Just DON'T GIVE UP!
When I had the hardest time in my life, when there wasn't any hope or any light, when I felt I have nothing left... I found this video. First I cried like crazy, then I felt a warm feeling inside of me. I watched this video about 20 times in a row. And what I did... I decided that I want to feel like that, I want to see the world like that, I want to make a change in my life! I watched this video over and over again, every morning. So every day I started over again. It was releasing, cause if last day was going all wrong, I could start again, everyday. It truly is how you see the world, how you choose to see it. It's not easy, not at all. But you can collect things around you that makes this videos kinds of feelings stronger.
Life isn't easy. It's all about ups and downs. Today my mother said to me something that made me remember how hard it was some times ago (I have to add here, that me and my mother.. we weren't that close, she didn't know much about me or my life before my hardest time when I had to rely on her 'cause there weren't anything else left, and I'm so grateful about that, we got a whole new beginning for our relationship): "I remember how you felt.. I didn't truly understand or know what you felt but I remember it.. There wasn't anything for you, not a single reason to do anything, not any strength left. You didn't have the strength to go to market to buy food or going to shower to wash your hair. You didn't have any light in your life, anything to look forward in the future. I remember it too well. But now it's hard to even imagine that there was such time. To others it must be so powering to know that there is a escape from so deep endless darkness. You are full of life light!" At that moment I realized again how amazing my life is, even there isn't anything special... The life itself is amazing, so big opportunity, so big gift!
I think that the secret to you is your life! It's all about understanding how amazing life is, how all the little things are amazing! This isn't about daily ups and downs, it's about everything, the big picture! Of course it includes the daily faced things... But I think it's something more. It's the whole journey. The thing is that the little things makes the big journey :)! Think big enough, think small enough, find the secret in you - And you'll be free!
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