I need Something more

I've been extremely busy lately. I've traveled a lot, running half of the time, I haven't even slept enough! It's funny that every time I change the place it's strangely pleasing feeling but at the same time it's hard that I can't settle down even a little! It's always me and my suitcase! But it's the only way I can feel environment changing enough, only way to keep life going as an interesting journey. Still I don't feel it's enough..

I don't have any clue what i'm trying to reach, what is the thing I need, the thing that I miss. Only thing I know is that I'm way too restless. I'm just running all the time, trying to make myself feel all the good things that life can give. Still I don't get enough anything. So is it the human nature that always wants more, insatiable urge to feel and live bigger. Always more more more more.. But for me it isn't about greed. It's simply restlessness. Even though I have to admit that I ask too much from myself almost in every matter and maybe from others, especially in the case of men.

I took this picture during my trip to Oslo, Norway. I think this shows the nature of human beings; we always want bigger, always more, but we just can't do those big things without each other. Always more, more, more..

If my restlessness proceed from incomplete soul, only the half heart of mine, why do I reject even the idea of relationship? It can't be that! I don't even want a relationship right now, it just isn't possible! And I have had this feeling so many years, not only during my single period! So what is it? I sit on the train at this very moment.. When I waited train to leave, I looked around me, all those regular buildings, regular people with regular lives. I felt a bit jealousy because I realized that I might never fit in that kind of life, I might never settle down. It would be so much easier! But when I think about "regular life" I feel instantly sick. I just need something more... 

It's gonna be a hard road, road of pain and heartache but at the same time the road of adventure and amazing experiences.. At least I hope so! But I believe in natural balance in the world: balance of good and evil. There's no bad without good and the other way round. So if I experience all the bad things there has to bee something good waiting for me on the future! And I can always choose to see the good things!